![]() I can’t wait to meet you and fall in love. Wherever he is out there, I hope he is searching for me as well. I know God has a plan for me and eventually I will meet the right person. I want to get on a path that is understandable and filled with meaning. This stupid love/like I have for him was driving me crazy but I am finally letting myself let go. If he liked me that much, he would’ve done something a long time ago. How can I be so stupid? I don’t know, I guess… I got too caught up in nothingness! I will probably drop some tears tonight not just because I will be letting go but because I’ve been so stupid these past few years. It took me this long to finally know that it will not happen. Have I really been waiting this long for him to just notice me? Yes, I know I’m a dumb ass! It’s been almost 6 years! You know what… I think that I did a good thing by asking him to meet up with me on that one night… by doing that I truly realized for myself that he will never ever want to be with me. ![]() Honestly, I’ve known him for so long that it’s ridiculous. We could be with some other person by then or perhaps we could still be unattached. ![]() At that time, I do not know where we will be at already. I don’t want the time to slip away anymore, especially when that time is being wasted on him and I get nothing in return. I know that I am willing to fight for him/his attention… but if he isn’t doing the same, why should I waste my time. I feel that sometimes he’s testing me to to see if I am really there with him… but then why do I feel so alone and abandoned, too? This is not what I should feel like when you are in “like/love”. Although, I will miss our squabbles and everything else… I want so much more and he doesn’t seem willing enough. I’m willing to let him go with no burden. Either have a good farewell, go peacefully, etc… But I guess the better way of saying it would be like what I mentioned. The literal translation is pretty much (word for word here) Go Happy/good You. To me, it says “a good farewell” or “go peacefully”. I don’t really know the exact translation for “Mus zoo koj” but I’ll give it my best shot. It’s so good and very sad! I think this is the song to help me get over him. Maybe if I don’t do anything, one of the sibs will try to take over and do it? haha yeah, right!! It’ll be amazing but I know 99% it will not occur!Īnyway, I’ve been listening to this Hmong song called “Mus zoo koj” by Light of day ft. No sparkling lights… maybe next year? I might even buy a small tree or something because the big one is just too big and I don’t want to deal with it. We will still have presents but I know it won’t be the same. Since I’ve got a full time job now and my weekends are barely enough time for myself or to rest, I say no to the tree. If I don’t make the move no one else will. I’m mostly always the one has to go drag the tree out of the attic and put it up every year. I’ve decided to have no Christmas tree this year! Yes, it’s quite sad.
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